A Matter of Personal Space

Personal space--what is that? According to Worsleyschool.net, your personal space is like an invisible bubble that surrounds you. If people move inside this bubble when they are talking to you, it may make you feel uncomfortable.

It is hard to understand why most people chose to invade this or if they realise they are doing it. But it often times happen to me and the truth is, it is truly uncomfortable--especially when it is a stranger.

A few days ago I was standing at the bus stop. It was freezing cold and I was getting a bit impatient because I missed the bus due to the traffic light and had been waiting a good twenty minutes for the next one.  Finally I saw the bus coming and left the bus shelter and stood on the side waiting for it to stop.  I had my hood up so I didn't see anyone coming up behind me and because I was wearing my headphones I didn't hear anyone.  Then I felt something brushing against my back. When I turned around, there was this woman, standing right there, against my back.  I removed my headphones and looked at her and she apologised and stepped back.  But this wasn't the first time someone had invade my personal space.

Merely a week ago I was on the bus, on the same route, and this woman came on, stood beside me with her bum against my shoulder! I was mortified! I tapped her and asked her to lean off but didn't she feel that she was all but sitting on my shoulder?

The point of this is to say, that not everyone is comfortable with you in their face. Try to keep a safe distance between you and the next person.  If you can feel yourself touching, then you're too close. If you can feel the person's body heat, breath, see the pores opening in their skin you are definitely too close.  Not sure what the norm is? Well here's a handy dandy diagram from Almost Savvy.


The personal space thing is a big deal. We've been learning about since as early as kindergarten.  Why is it so important? Why is this being taught from such an early age? People need to have control over their 'areas' and their bodies fall under that category. Adhering to the personal space theory can help with spreading colds, allergic reactions and the like.  Being too close can also be construed as confrontational when you don't mean to be. Think about it. When people are trying to goad someone into a fight, they are always right there, up in their faces. Just be careful--body language and distance says it all.

The next time you're standing with, behind, before or speaking with someone, stop for a second and look--are you at an appropriate distance? Are you making the other person uncomfortable?